tBS: Prohibited

Prompt: Rule 63
Fandom: Criminal Minds/NCIS
Pairings/Characters: Tony DiNozzo/Spencer Reid, BAU team
Warnings: Recreational Alcohol is consumed on screen; please drink responsibly.
Word Count: 1,811
Notes: Well, I’ve written Tony and Spencer as a slash pairing, with female Spencer and with female Tony so you know what that means: femslash. Also, I was going to keep this pretty close to canon by having Toni and Spencer at their canon jobs, but somehow I wrote my way around to this. I don’t usually write Tony as a civilian unless he was injured in the line of duty but this really worked for me. If Tony, male or female, had ever gone into business, I can absolutely picture this.

Synopsis: The team meets Spencer for a night out, gets lost, and finds a surprise.

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“I don’t know where we’re going, but I doubt it’s what I had in mind for a Friday night.”

“Oh hush, spoilsport,” Penelope scolded. “How often does our genius invite everyone out, instead of one of us luring her from her book cocoon for an evening with the team?”

“That would be my point,” Derek said. “Rossi agrees with me, right man?”

“Not really.”

“Come on, man — Reid’s idea of a good time is a three-hour foreign film or a day at the Library of Congress. Hey, now!” He jumped a little when Emily prodded his ribs. “Careful, Prentis.”

“You’re already on thin ice, Morgan, after your stunt the other day, so watch it.”

“Stunt? What stunt?”

“The latest episode of your epic quest to cockblock Spencer,” JJ said mildly.

He scowled and walked a little quicker to get out of Emily’s reach; behind his back, she and Penelope fist bumped. “He was hitting on her and she wasn’t interested.”

“He was a decorated officer inviting a colleague to lunch, and she is a twenty-six-year-old genius with ten degrees and a gun,” Hotch sighed. “She’s shot a man in the head, Morgan; Reid is perfectly capable of turning down a polite invitation without you throwing yourself on the grenade.”

“Being asked out makes her flustered.”

“And she’ll never get any practice at it with you around, Chocolate Thunder,” Penelope hooked her arm through his and pinched his bicep. “This is our shot across your bow, my love; the next time, we start playing dirty.”

Because he was a smart man, her beautiful Derek looked wary. “Do I want to know?”

“Lets’ just say,” JJ interjected, “that I doubt you’d enjoy an outright campaign on your ability to get a phone number, much less a date.”

“Sauce for the gander,” Rossi chuckled. “Karma.”

Morgan gave her a betrayed look. She patted his arm. “It’s for your own good, Sir Morgan.”

Rossi, who was navigating, stopped. “I hate these damned GPS apps,” he grumbled, staring at his phone. “This can’t be it.”

‘This’ was a narrow alley between a movie theatre and a Mexican restaurant, walls plastered with posters and graffiti. Near the end was a sign that said Underground.

She pursed her lips. This rang a bell or two but it couldn’t be . . . could it?

“This better not be some kind of walking tour of haunted places or murder sites,” Derek muttered.

At the end of the alley was a door, opening to a descending staircase complete with flickering lights and subway tiles. They gamely continued — a federal badge or six would get them out of trespassing charges — and at the bottom, after a turn, came to an old-fashioned turnstile with its arms locked in place.

“Well, we’re lost. Someone call Reid.”

“Oh!” Penelope dug into her pocket. “I forgot, she gave me these.” And retrieved a handful of tickets, naked of anything but barcodes. “I thought they were for a movie, but they look like they’ll fit the ticket slot.”

Hotch tried first, and passed through the arms of the turnstile, then waited for the rest of them. Will had a knowing smile on his face; Garcia bounced on her toes, thrilled and eager for more. Just beyond them was a heavy door. “Open it!”

“It says ‘No Entrance’, Mama,” Derek cautioned, but she knew what this was and pushed forward to grab the handle and yank.

And they walked into the Prohibition.

“No. Way.” Emily breathed. “Seriously?”

Lush and gorgeous, filled with vintage wood and fabric and gleaming glass, the 1920’s swirled around them. There were two bars, dozens of tables, and multiple chandeliers. On the dance floor were a dozen couples including one doing a vigorous Charleston, to cheers and applause, and a live band.

The servers and bar staff, male and female alike, wore tuxedo pants, shirts, and cummerbunds complete with suspenders; the head bartender wore a vest and tie as well. The hostess looked like Anna May Wong had stepped off the screen and into Washington in her black and red silk dress. The patrons wore street clothes and suits, flapper dresses and fifties fashion, sequins and blue jeans and everything in between.

At a high-topped table near the bar, fitting in perfectly in her usual tweed skirt, argyle knee socks and saddlebacks, Spencer Reid sat with a cocktail and a book.

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“Doctor Reid, you are a genius! How did you find this place?”

Spencer looked up from her book — Fitzgerald seemed appropriate — to find her team descending on her. “Oh good, you found it. I thought I might need to text you instructions.”

“It took a moment,” Rossi agreed. “An Old Fashioned,” he told a server who’d descended on them.

There was a round of ordering, along with a few questions about the drinks listed on the menu — and a few laughs over the House Rules printed there. Garcia dug out her phone and switched it off immediately, happy to immerse herself in the atmosphere, and Will and JJ announced that they were coming back wearing fedoras to take advantage of the half priced drinks.

“No, really, how did you find this place?” Emily asked when they were served. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“I have,” Will said, “but I didn’t know where the entrance was. Anybody can slap up a few decorations and call themselves a speakeasy. It takes a secret entrance and word of mouth to make a real one.”

“Where do you get the tickets?” Morgan asked, gazing around at the decor.

“There’s a ticket booth in the movie theatre,” Spencer explained, “they only sell tickets after six. The same person owns both, so it works.”

“The theatre shows vintage films, right? Someone with vision and a love of history.” Hotch’s shoulders relaxed, a sure sign he was feeling comfortable.

“And movies,” she agreed. “Not to mention a flair for the dramatic.”

“You know him?” Morgan asked suspiciously, then flinched. JJ and Emily glared at him, and Spencer figured one of them had kicked him under the table.

“Cockblocking,” Garcia said warningly.

“Remind me to add ‘No Cockblocking’ to the House Rules.” Spencer grinned and turned; Toni had swanned up to the table, looking every inch a modern Marlene Dietrich in a floor-length sequined gown and styled curls. “Really, it should always be against the rules.”

“Guys, this is the owner of Underground; Antonia DiNozzo. Toni, this is my team.”

“The infamous BAU,” she purred, sliding right into Spencer’s personal space. She tucked her arm around Toni’s waist; Rossi’s eyebrow flew up and Garcia’s jaw dropped. “A bunch of Feds in a speakeasy; well, it’s not the first time.”

“We aren’t all Feds,” Will teased.

“Corrupting the local coppers is old news, Detective,” Toni returned sassily, “the Chief of Detectives and Police Commissioner are regulars. Don’t come on Thursdays if you want to avoid getting pinched for colluding with moonshiners.”

“See? Dramatic.”

Toni pouted. “Don’t you love me, doll? Why you gotta be so mean?” Laughing, Spencer kissed her. Her girlfriend lingered for a long moment; they ignored Morgan’s choked squawk. When Toni drew back, her smile was real and soft and full of love.  

“I really do love you, but that means I’m aware of and enjoy your preference for drama.”

“You’re forgiven, but I demand a dance later in payment for hurting my feelings.” Toni pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, then grinned at the team. “I’ll be back later. Don’t wear her out with too many questions; I have plans later.”

“You,” Garcia intoned seriously as Toni sauntered away, hips swaying beneath her shimmering dress, “are going to tell me everything. And don’t spare on the sexy stuff.”

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Toni slid back up to the table after they’d ploughed through several platters of hors d’oeuvres and several refills apiece. “Enjoying yourselves?”

“The food and drink are almost as good as storytime,” Garcia said shamelessly. “I especially like the part where you invited her home to see your etchings.”

“They were art deco prints, actually,” Spencer explained. “Toni’s a collector.”

Her team laughed; Toni hugged her shoulders and consoled: “Don’t worry, Spencer, I love you even when you can’t see a come on with a deep space telescope.”

“It’s a lovely collection,” Spencer huffed.

“You didn’t see my artwork until the next morning, sweetheart,” Toni reminded her. “Unless we’re counting my rack, which I think qualifies.”

“Let’s go dance,” JJ laughed, tugging Will towards the dance floor. “I’m not sure we should be listening to this!”

“I just invited you home for coffee.” He finished his drink and followed. “Which we didn’t get to until morning either, come to think.”

“Come along, Derek,” Garcia ordered. “I want to take a spin as well. You’re next, David Rossi, so don’t go anywhere.”

“What about Hotch?” the older profiler demanded. “I’m ten years too old to keep up with you!”

“Our fearless leader is about to find himself with his own partner,” she called back cheerfully.

“Redhead, two o’clock,” Toni pointed out. “Partner in a local law firm, does charity work for an inner city family law centre. Comes in on Fridays, usually, for the stage and burlesque shows. Looks fantastic in Dior,” she added with a smile as a redhead in a black dress slid up to Hotch’s seat.

“And then there were three,” Rossi mused as their Unit Chief followed the exodus to the crowded dance floor. “Why are you two still here?”

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Spencer admitted, familiar with the sensation of holding the table while everyone else had fun.

“Take your woman and get your rear onto the dance floor, Agent Doctor Reid,” she was told sternly. “I’m getting another drink, and then I’m going to watch and smugly imagine how sore and hung over you’ll all be tomorrow.”

“Come on, sugar,” Toni laughed, “we’ve got our orders.” And she was pulled along.

“I haven’t gotten any better since the last time,” Spencer warned.

“Which is why the band is going to play something slow.” The music changed, and Toni drew her close. They were nearly the same height, but Toni’s heels elevated her so she took the lead as they danced cheek to cheek.

“I’m glad you brought them,” Toni murmured.

“So am I.” And she was; her team was like family, and you introduced someone you loved to your family; even she knew that. Spencer stroked her thumb along the side of Toni’s neck. “Half the people in this room are picturing us naked together.”

There was a throaty chuckle next to her ear. “So am I. I’m going to New York to check on my places there. Come with me?”

“I can only take a couple of days, and only if we don’t have a case.” Lips touched her cheek. “Yes.”   

 

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