This little piece of the internet belongs to me!!! Hahahahaha!!! Bow before your benevolent goddess, mortals!!!
Ahem. Sorry. I have noidea what came over me. I totally got over that little case of megalomania years ago. I have a doctor’s note to prove it.
Right, back to the stuff. I’m supposed to write something meaningful or funny. Fresh outta ideas, folks. You’re stuck with whatever I have left over from writing. And, you know, pretending I’m a human being instead of a recluse-in-training.
Did I mention I’m an insomniac who does most of her writing after midnight? Best get that out there.
So, rules and stuff.
1. Don’t be a bitch. That’s my job. Kidding (so not kidding).
2. Don’t steal.
3. Don’t diss on other people.
4. Don’t bitch about my fandom or story genre choices. Don’t like slash or always-a-girl stories? There’s plenty of internet out there for you to play in.
5. I make the rules and I can change or add to them as I like.
For the record, I have been weaned on a diet of snark, sass, and bitchery. And that was before I spent years of my life on the internet. Take your chances.
Title: Play Me Home Author: darkseraphina Fandom: NCIS Genre: gen, alternate universe, genderbend Warnings: past character death, mentions of child abandonment and abuse. Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 1683 Prompt: The Writer’s Table Thursday Vignettes, February 7, 2019
Summary: It was the most beautiful piano Toni had ever seen.
Title: Nightcap Series: The Agent and the Admiral Fandom: NCIS, JAG Pairing/Characters: always-a-girl Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden, others mentioned Genre: genderbent, AU, romance Rating/Warnings: R; explicit sex and swearing Notes: Takes place in JAG season 8, after “Heart and Soul” and before the episode “Ice Queen” which is also the NCIS pilot episode. Pre-series NCIS. Toni has been at NCIS about a year and a half. Word Count: 2 694
Synopsis: Admiral Chegwidden was just seeking a quiet drink and a respite from a boring Navy event. Antonia DiNozzo found him instead, and she turned out to be a potent as any nightcap.
Title: Waves Towards The Shore Fandom: NCIS/Hawaii Five-0, Sentinel Fusion Pairing: Female Tony DiNozzo/Steve McGarrett Genre: genderbend, casefic, action-adventure, romance, sentinel fusion, alternate universe Word Count: 19 968
Warnings: Canon-typical violence, child abandonment and abuse, mentions of murder and other criminal activities. Notes: Written as part of the Rough Trade Little Black Dress Challenge for sentinel fusions in July 2018. This is not part of any other series or story I’ve written including other sentinel fusions. If you see elements or characterizations I’ve used before it’s because I have certain ongoing headcanons for favourite fandoms and characters, of which Tony DiNozzo is one. The child abandonment in the warnings regards a canon event in Tony’s life where his father leaves him alone in Hawaii for days. This takes place in the first season, canonically, of Hawaii Five-0 and after the third season of NCIS. The timelines don’t exactly line up because I don’t care and it’s an alternate universe.
Synopsis: Left behind by her father while he chased a wealthy new wife, budding guide Antonia DiNozzo is adopted by her mother’s family in England. Hawaii is behind her — until a hunt for an arms dealer brings her back to the island. And Steve McGarrett, the sentinel son of the man who once saved her.
Title: Bounce Back Fandom: NCIS/JAG Pairing: female Tony DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden Genre: post-episode (6×16 Bounce); romance Warnings: I am not kind to Tim and Ziva and as far as I’m concerned, they deserve it. Notes: Like Boxed In and Dead Air, this episode pissed me off.
Synopsis: An innocent man spent two years in prison. That’s not a joke, and only Tim and Ziva seem to be laughing. Responsibility and blame are not the same things.
If real police work was like a television show, there would only be one case on the deck at a time and they would end when the last question was answered and an arrest was made. All the motives would be neat and make sense, and you would be left with the assumption that the perp would get exactly what they deserved.
Toni DiNozzo was very fond of the small and silver screens — too fond, according to some — but real life wasn’t television and cop work was hell and gone more complex and less precise than police procedurals made out. Even the grittiest and most hardboiled of the lot, which might capture some of the cynicism, couldn’t come close to the reality.
Title: Of Glowing Starlight Series: Radiance #1 Fandom: The Hobbit/LotR Pairing(s): Elrond/fem!Legolas, Thorin Oakenshield/Bellamira Baggins (fem!Bilbo) Genre: Romance, fantasy, action adventure, genderbend, alternate universe Warnings: genderbend of several Tolkien characters (because I can and because there are entirely too many male and too few female characters in those books-slash-movies), canon-typical violence (which covers a lot) Word Count: 13 314 Notes: see Series Page for full notes; Bilbo, Legolas and Kíli are female for reasons. I’m using the movie verse as my primary canon, with a dash of book and Tolkien lore, and fusing elements of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Movie casting unless otherwise specified; see series page for Casting. Glossary at end of work and series page.
Synopsis: Thorin Oakenshield has no love of elves, but a burning hate of orcs — so it isn’t terribly hard for Gandalf to convince him to join efforts with an elf-maid while they are hunted across the foothills of Rhudaur. Elf or not, he can only respect someone who can so handily dispatch their enemy.
He only wanted to get the Company to safety, and to the Misty Mountains for the next leg of their journey. Rivendell was never on his itinerary — and he never expected the she-elf they fell in with to be the wife of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell.
But then, Legolas has always managed to surprise people.
The Company of Thorin Oakenshield detours to Rivendell, thanks to orcs being . . . well, orcs. Everything that comes after that is probably not their fault.
Title: War Brides Author: darkseraphina Fandom: NCIS/Criminal Minds Prompt: Rule 63 Characters/Pairings: Spencer Reid/Aaron Hotchner, Antonia DiNozzo/Steve McGarrett Genre: historical AU (yes, really) Word Count: 1990 Notes: So, I wrote a historical AU. And a Rule 63 story. At the same time. This is what happens when you spend time reorganizing a history section in a bookstore. I have no regrets. More seriously, I’m Canadian and that means that war brides are a large part of the post-WWII identity of my country; more than 40,000 brides from Britain and thousands more from Germany, the Netherlands, France, Italy, and other nations immigrated to Canada in the years after the war. Some faced poverty, others rural isolation; some faced abuse and suffering. And some made happy lives, despite the strange circumstances and the difficulties of a world recovering from war.
Prompt: Surrender Fandom: NCIS/JAG Characters/Pairing: Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden; female Tony DiNozzo Genre: erotic, romance Rating/Warnings: yeah, this is Explicit. Definitely M or R. Here there be sexy times. Word Count: 917 Notes: I wanted to write a bit of uniform kink; I got this. I can’t even write a blowjob without adding romance and character development. If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Prompt: Rule 63 Fandom: Criminal Minds/NCIS Pairings/Characters: Tony DiNozzo/Spencer Reid, BAU team Warnings: Recreational Alcohol is consumed on screen; please drink responsibly. Word Count: 1,811 Notes: Well, I’ve written Tony and Spencer as a slash pairing, with female Spencer and with female Tony so you know what that means: femslash. Also, I was going to keep this pretty close to canon by having Toni and Spencer at their canon jobs, but somehow I wrote my way around to this. I don’t usually write Tony as a civilian unless he was injured in the line of duty but this really worked for me. If Tony, male or female, had ever gone into business, I can absolutely picture this. Synopsis: The team meets Spencer for a night out, gets lost, and finds a surprise.
Title: Mercy and Vengeance Prompt: Justice Fandom: NCIS/JAG Characters/Pairings: Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden, SECNAV Sarah Porter, others mentioned Word Count: 971 Rating/Warnings/Notes: a little swearing and mentions of naked stuff; probably no more than Mature. Synopsis: Without justice, the law is merciless. Without law, justice is vengeance.