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This little piece of the internet belongs to me!!! Hahahahaha!!! Bow before your benevolent goddess, mortals!!!

Ahem. Sorry. I have no idea what came over me. I totally got over that little case of megalomania years ago. I have a doctor’s note to prove it.

Right, back to the stuff. I’m supposed to write something meaningful or funny. Fresh outta ideas, folks. You’re stuck with whatever I have left over from writing. And, you know, pretending I’m a human being instead of a recluse-in-training.

Did I mention I’m an insomniac who does most of her writing after midnight? Best get that out there.

So, rules and stuff.

1. Don’t be a bitch. That’s my job. Kidding (so not kidding).
2. Don’t steal.
3. Don’t diss on other people.
4. Don’t bitch about my fandom or story genre choices. Don’t like slash or always-a-girl stories? There’s plenty of internet out there for you to play in.
5. I make the rules and I can change or add to them as I like.

For the record, I have been weaned on a diet of snark, sass, and bitchery. And that was before I spent years of my life on the internet. Take your chances.


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Posted in Fluff Bingo, JAG, NCIS, The Agent and the Admiral

Night Out

Title: Night Out
Series: The Agent and the Admiral #2
Fandom: NCIS, JAG
Pairing/Characters: always-a-girl Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden, others mentioned
Genre: always-a-different sex/gender changes, AU, romance
Rating/Warnings: R; explicit sex and swearing
Notes: Takes place in JAG season 8, after “Heart and Soul” and before the episode “Ice Queen” which is also the NCIS pilot episode. Pre-series NCIS. Toni has been at NCIS about a year and a half.
Prompt: Fluff Bingo ‘Date Night’ Square
Word Count: 3789

Synopsis: It wasn’t that Toni didn’t date, it was more that she tried to keep things light, easy, and uncomplicated. And yet, she was going on a date with Admiral AJ Chegwidden despite the fact the man had ‘complication’ written all over him.

Continue reading “Night Out”

Posted in The Agent and the Admiral

The Agent and the Admiral Series

Series: The Agent and the Admiral
Fandom: NCIS, JAG
Pairing/Characters: always-a-girl Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden, others mentioned
Genre: Rule 63, always-a-different sex/gender changes, AU, romance, drama, casefic, action-adventure
Rating/Warnings: R; explicit sex and swearing; canon-typical violence; discussion of murder, violence, character death, violence against women (anything one might see on either show) and other typical crime procedural discussions of crime; character death (no main pairing character death), assault, and moments of tooth-rotting fluff.
Notes: Takes place in JAG season 8, after “Heart and Soul” and before the episode “Ice Queen” which is also the NCIS pilot episode. Begins pre-series NCIS, when Toni has been at NCIS about a year and a half. Series extends into through the first season of NCIS and possibly beyond.

Stories
Banner - Nightcap
Nightcap Admiral Chegwidden was just seeking a quiet drink and a respite from a boring Navy event. Antonia DiNozzo found him instead, and she turned out to be as potent as any nightcap.

 
banner - agent and admiral - night outNight Out It wasn’t that Toni didn’t date, it was more that she tried to keep things light, easy, and uncomplicated. And yet, she was going on a date with Admiral AJ Chegwidden despite the fact the man had ‘complication’ written all over him.

Posted in JAG, NCIS, The Agent and the Admiral

Nightcap

Title: Nightcap
Series: The Agent and the Admiral
Fandom: NCIS, JAG
Pairing/Characters: always-a-girl Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden, others mentioned
Genre: genderbent, AU, romance
Rating/Warnings: R; explicit sex and swearing
Notes: Takes place in JAG season 8, after “Heart and Soul” and before the episode “Ice Queen” which is also the NCIS pilot episode. Pre-series NCIS. Toni has been at NCIS about a year and a half.
Word Count: 2 694

Synopsis: Admiral Chegwidden was just seeking a quiet drink and a respite from a boring Navy event. Antonia DiNozzo found him instead, and she turned out to be a potent as any nightcap.

Continue reading “Nightcap”

Posted in Hawaii Five-0, NCIS, The Sentinel

Waves Towards The Shore

Title: Waves Towards The Shore
Fandom: NCIS/Hawaii Five-0, Sentinel Fusion
Pairing: Female Tony DiNozzo/Steve McGarrett
Genre: genderbend, casefic, action-adventure, romance, sentinel fusion, alternate universe
Word Count: 19 968
Warnings: 
Canon-typical violence, child abandonment and abuse, mentions of murder and other criminal activities.
Notes: Written as part of the Rough Trade Little Black Dress Challenge for sentinel fusions in July 2018. This is not part of any other series or story I’ve written including other sentinel fusions. If you see elements or characterizations I’ve used before it’s because I have certain ongoing headcanons for favourite fandoms and characters, of which Tony DiNozzo is one. The child abandonment in the warnings regards a canon event in Tony’s life where his father leaves him alone in Hawaii for days. This takes place in the first season, canonically, of Hawaii Five-0 and after the third season of NCIS. The timelines don’t exactly line up because I don’t care and it’s an alternate universe.

Synopsis: Left behind by her father while he chased a wealthy new wife, budding guide Antonia DiNozzo is adopted by her mother’s family in England. Hawaii is behind her — until a hunt for an arms dealer brings her back to the island. And Steve McGarrett, the sentinel son of the man who once saved her.

Continue reading “Waves Towards The Shore”

Posted in JAG, NCIS

Bounce Back

Title: Bounce Back
Fandom: NCIS/JAG
Pairing: female Tony DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden
Genre: post-episode (6×16 Bounce); romance
Warnings: I am not kind to Tim and Ziva and as far as I’m concerned, they deserve it.
Notes:  Like Boxed In and Dead Air, this episode pissed me off. 

Synopsis: An innocent man spent two years in prison. That’s not a joke, and only Tim and Ziva seem to be laughing. Responsibility and blame are not the same things.




If real police work was like a television show, there would only be one case on the deck at a time and they would end when the last question was answered and an arrest was made. All the motives would be neat and make sense, and you would be left with the assumption that the perp would get exactly what they deserved.

Toni DiNozzo was very fond of the small and silver screens — too fond, according to some — but real life wasn’t television and cop work was hell and gone more complex and less precise than police procedurals made out. Even the grittiest and most hardboiled of the lot, which might capture some of the cynicism, couldn’t come close to the reality.

For one thing, they didn’t show cops spending nearly enough time doing paperwork. Continue reading “Bounce Back”

Posted in Hobbit, Radiance

Of Glowing Starlight

Title: Of Glowing Starlight
Series: Radiance #1
Fandom: The Hobbit/LotR
Pairing(s): Elrond/fem!Legolas, Thorin Oakenshield/Bellamira Baggins (fem!Bilbo)
Genre: Romance, fantasy, action adventure, genderbend, alternate universe
Warnings: genderbend of several Tolkien characters (because I can and because there are entirely too many male and too few female characters in those books-slash-movies), canon-typical violence (which covers a lot)
Word Count: 13 314
Notes: see Series Page for full notes;  Bilbo, Legolas and Kíli are female for reasons. I’m using the movie verse as my primary canon, with a dash of book and Tolkien lore, and fusing elements of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Movie casting unless otherwise specified; see series page for Casting. Glossary at end of work and series page.

Synopsis: Thorin Oakenshield has no love of elves, but a burning hate of orcs — so it isn’t terribly hard for Gandalf to convince him to join efforts with an elf-maid while they are hunted across the foothills of Rhudaur. Elf or not, he can only respect someone who can so handily dispatch their enemy.

He only wanted to get the Company to safety, and to the Misty Mountains for the next leg of their journey. Rivendell was never on his itinerary — and he never expected the she-elf they fell in with to be the wife of Elrond, Lord of Rivendell.

But then, Legolas has always managed to surprise people.

The Company of Thorin Oakenshield detours to Rivendell, thanks to orcs being . . . well, orcs. Everything that comes after that is probably not their fault.

Continue reading “Of Glowing Starlight”

Posted in Criminal Minds, Hawaii Five-0, NCIS, Variations on a Character

tBS: War Brides

Title: War Brides
Author: darkseraphina
Fandom: NCIS/Criminal Minds
Prompt: Rule 63

Characters/Pairings: Spencer Reid/Aaron Hotchner, Antonia DiNozzo/Steve McGarrett
Genre: historical AU (yes, really)
Word Count: 1990
Notes: So, I wrote a historical AU. And a Rule 63 story. At the same time. This is what happens when you spend time reorganizing a history section in a bookstore. I have no regrets. More seriously, I’m Canadian and that means that war brides are a large part of the post-WWII identity of my country; more than 40,000 brides from Britain and thousands more from Germany, the Netherlands, France, Italy, and other nations immigrated to Canada in the years after the war. Some faced poverty, others rural isolation; some faced abuse and suffering. And some made happy lives, despite the strange circumstances and the difficulties of a world recovering from war.

Synopsis: They were more fortunate than most, even far from home and soon to reach a strange country. Continue reading “tBS: War Brides”

Posted in JAG, NCIS, Variations on a Theme

tBS: Uniform Tastes

Prompt: Surrender
Fandom: NCIS/JAG
Characters/Pairing: Toni DiNozzo/AJ Chegwidden; female Tony DiNozzo
Genre: erotic, romance
Rating/Warnings: yeah, this is Explicit. Definitely M or R. Here there be sexy times.
Word Count: 917
Notes: I wanted to write a bit of uniform kink; I got this. I can’t even write a blowjob without adding romance and character development. If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

Synopsis: “You know, Admiral, there’s something about a man in uniform.” Continue reading “tBS: Uniform Tastes”