Posted in Hawaii Five-0, Short Fiction

tBS: Jurassic Five-O

The Big Short

Title: Jurassic Five-O
Author: darkseraphina
Prompt: Steve McGarrett
Fandom: Hawaii 5-O, Jurassic World
Characters: Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Owen Grady, Claire Denning, Zack and Gray Mitchell, Grace Williams
Genre: Action, post-movie, late night writing (which is so a genre, or at least a writing style), team-fic
Word Count: 1236
Warnings: This is what happens when you listen to old podcasts when reading character prompts. Poly. Dinosaurs.

Danny was still going, and Steve couldn’t blame him. Even the easy-going Chin Ho had found time to make some fairly aggressive comments; no surprise that his partner had reached a new orbit with his vitriol and hand-waving.

“ — and the next time the governor decides to reward us? Ask him what we’ve done to piss him off! In what realm of reality is a trip to an island full of the biggest predators in history a reward?”

Chin and Kono were nodding in solidarity. Both looked a little ruffled, a lot battered, and very tired. Kono listed slightly in her seat, and Danny absently propped her up.

“And really, these things aren’t dangerous enough on their own? Some moron had to go and start playing God? That thing was like one of those flip books, where you can mix and match animal bodies! Great for kids — Gracie loved those things — but not a legitimate science project!”

Steve glanced over at the girl in question — Grace was sitting with Gray and Zach. Rather, she was sitting with Gray, and flirting with Zach, who didn’t seem bothered. Almost getting eaten by dinosaurs didn’t make much impact on teen hormones, apparently.

Normally, Danny would already be planning a quiet body disposal — he had not been pleased yesterday, when Grace and Zach had struck up conversation in the hotel lobby, and had been sliding towards homicidal when his daughter insisted on joining the other teen on the excursion into the park. Normally Steve would be right behind his partner, best ‘emotionless killer’ face on, helping scare off the boy who dared chat up Grace, sweet and pretty and just fourteen, while Chin smirked and Kono played referee and took up Grace’s side.

Normal didn’t mean much after a day spent dodging dinosaurs.

Let them flirt. He already knew his whole team was waiting for a chance for a little more adult stress relief. Nothing like adrenaline and near-death to ramp up the sex drive. Fight or flight should be renamed the fight, flight or fuck response.

Speaking of. . .

“He still going?”

Owen wandered over, leaning casually against Steve’s shoulder. He was a little dirty, sweaty, and battered; like they’d just run a mission, rather than a prehistoric gauntlet.

They’d been SEALs together for years, and had easily fallen back in that pattern even before the whole island went to hell. Owen had gotten out of the service first, only six months before Steve had left the Teams for Hawaii, the Reserves, and 5-O.

“This is nothing. His record is seventeen minutes, and that only involved drug runners and a neurotoxin. Man-eating dinosaurs, corporate corruption and human stupidity? Twenty minutes, minimum.”

“Twenty-four,” Chin murmured. “Kono?”

“Twenty-seven — he’s already at nineteen minutes.”

“ — training raptors like friggin’ police dogs — you know I can hear you, right? You know I understand your words, and that you are betting on my very legitimate explanation of why this whole place is a monolith to the stupidity and arrogance of humanity? Right?”

“Of course, brah. That’s why you hear us loudly not disagreeing with you.”

Danny gave Kono a beady eye, then huffed. Apparently satisfied with her sincerity, he continued. “And you — this is more relaxing than the SEALs? Really? You retire from traipsing across the globe, swimming with sharks and killing terrorists, and your retirement option is training dinosaurs?”

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Congratulations, Steven, we’ve found someone more insane that you are.” Danny sighed. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this — but I wish we’d never left Hawaii, and I’m never leaving the island again.”

“We’re all alive, Danny, and more people would have died if we weren’t here.” Because an extra SEAL and three cops had definitely made a difference. Especially when the ‘highly trained’ security teams had, unsurprisingly, not fared well against a genetically-altered dinosaur while using non-lethal means.

Masrani wasn’t likely to file charges against Steve for punching him in face, especially since he was unconscious instead of in the helicopter that had unsuccessfully tried to take on a dinosaur and a glass dome. He might regret being alive when all the lawsuits started rolling in, though.

“Of course we saved lives, Steven! The fact that those lives needed saving is the issue!” And Danny was off again.

“Twenty-nine,” Steve told Chin, who looked unimpressed with his rigging the bet.

Owen leaned a little harder, chuckling. “You know, they said you landed easy when you went Reservist, but it’s nice to see.”

Steve examined his team. Others had come and gone — temporary agents, liaisons, assigned observers — but from the first it had been the four of them. They’d dealt with personal nightmares, international terrorists, bioweapons, family traumas, triads and gangs and the yakuza, corrupt govenors and Wo Fat — and now, extinct predators and the most dangerous zoo in history.

He wasn’t wrong to prefer an international criminal enterprise. Murderous humans were a lot simpler than a prehistoric killing machine.

“Yeah, I had a good landing. Sorry yours shipwrecked.”

The other SEAL sighed. “Not your fault. I’ll find another place to land.”

“With a pretty redhead?” Because that tension needed a k-bar to slice through it.

“Maybe.” Owen smirked. “You and your vocal partner?”

“Sometimes, but he’s seeing someone at the moment.” Steve and Danny would never not be Steve-and-Danny, but their intimacy was emotional and a little co-dependent. Sex was part of it, but mostly when neither of them had another outlet. Or when Steve had gotten mind-fucked by Wo Fat. Or his mother. Or something had threatened Grace. Or Danny was frustrated at being treated like a haole. Or . . .

No wonder half of Hawaii thought they were married. They basically were, if that marriage was an open, polygamous one.

There were more dysfunctional relationships out there. Probably.

Owen chuckled. “In that case, you still as . . . adventurous as you were in Seoul?”

Seoul was the aftermath of a bitch of a mission, collecting information on the Hesse brothers and dismantling a cell of terrorists with nuclear aspirations — and he distinctly remembered a very adventurous evening with Owen and a local woman that had lasted well into the night. And the next morning.

He glanced over at the redhead — Claire Denning, Zach and Gray’s aunt and a woman who, despite appearances, was surprisingly tough and adaptable. However. . . “No way.”


He huffed. “You only risk money when you’ve rigged the bet. You already asked her, didn’t you.”

“Actually, she asked me if you’d be amenable.”


“I told her you weren’t only amenable and available, but easy.”

Danny stopped ranting, and started laughing. “He definitely knows you, Steven.”

Steve blushed a little, knowing his whole team had heard that conversation. “Shut up, Danny.”

“And I want to hear about Seoul.”

“Only if we never talk about this again.”

“And you should take your smirking friend over to the lady and prove the honour — or lack thereof — of the navy.”

“Please stop talking.”

“Boss,” Kono said cheerfully, “you should totally haul ass.”

The blush deepened. “We’ve ruined you, Kalakaua.”

“No, she came this way,” Chin assured him. “And, really, Steve — you don’t keep a lady and a gentleman waiting.”

“I like your team,” Owen told him.

“I hate them all.”

They were still laughing at him when Owen hauled him away.  



I have spent more time in fandom than in real life in the last decade. I'd offer cookies and a speech about joining the dark side, but if you found me here you've probably drunk the kool-aid already.

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