Posted in NCIS, Rule 63, Short Fiction

tBS: Hunter, Hunted

Title: Hunter, Hunted
Prompt: Original Male Character
Fandom: NCIS
Characters: Toni DiNozzo (fem!Tony), Nikki Jardine, Michelle Lee, Paula Cassidy, Cassie Yates, Director Morrow, various original characters mentioned
Genre: angst, drama, Women Being Awesome
Warnings: Sexually coercive behaviour, aggressive sexual pursuit, and behaviour that is intended to cause distress and anxiety in an OCD person. Do Not Read This if any of that will bother you, I don’t want to trigger anyone.
Rating: M
Notes: So the prompt was to create an Original Male Character and, in under 2000 words, make the audience love him. As per usual, I am incapable of following the brief; I wrote someone for you all to hate. Let’s see if I got it right.

Synopsis: There are all kinds of predators in the world, and most of them hunt the weakest members of the herd.

Nicholas Fairfax was a tall, good looking man in the prime of his life. Fair haired as his name, with blue eyes and a rugged jaw that was made for three day stubble, he was every inch the screen version of a federal agent. And, if his eyes were a little too washed out for perfection, and his hair was ever so slightly thinner than a decade ago — well, even his greatest detractors were hard pressed to say it was obvious.

Nick had a great many detractors.

He found this fact very satisfying; proof he was as exceptional as he believed. Obviously, the male colleagues who called him and asshole behind his back were jealous. And the women? Well, either they resented his lack of attention, were angry he’d moved on — couldn’t waste all this on a single woman who would grow demanding and fat and withhold sex to control him, after all — or were dykes who didn’t know any better.

Since Nick considered himself God’s gift to women, he’d be sincerely surprised to know that several were fantasizing about his murder. Since, when he wasn’t thinking about sex with a woman — rarely — he didn’t think much of them at all, he’d never considered that one, or several, would be his undoing.

And, for a federal agent, his situational awareness sucked.

Toni DiNozzo watched him fro just out of his line of sight, and very nearly had a flashback to her father’s pickup routine. That, of drunken college frat party, full of kids too drunk and horny to be anything but cheesy. It would almost be comical, if not for the harassed expression on Nikki Jardine’s face.

“You see?” Michelle Lee murmured.

“Yeah.” Tony frowned as Fairfax leaned in to crowd Jardine. Either the man was oblivious to her OCD — or he was using it against her. “Has she made a complaint to HR?”

“You know Nikki; she’s afraid that people will think she’s overreacting or too sensitive because of her OCD.” Michelle shifted nervously. “And —”

“Spill, Chelle.”

“Naomi in Tech Support and Candice in the Admin pool both filed complaints and Fairfax didn’t even get pulled aside for a conversation,” the legal assistant said bitterly. “Monica from Cyber was going to, until she found out that when Candice reported to HR — the clerk didn’t even write anything down and told her she was too sensitive.”

Toni watched Fairfax deliberately touch Nikki’s desk, against her protests. When the analyst began wiping the area with a disinfectant wipe, the man touched several more spots and leaned in closely. Whatever he said had Fairfax sauntering away with a smug grin, and left Jardine pale and disinfecting frantically.

“Who else, Chelle?”

“Tara, Elise, Amy, and Rayleen. Delores is beneath his notice, Cynthia is the Director’s secretary, and Abby scares the hell out of him. Marla and Christine both got so fed up with hi haunting their desks, they both went out with him — Chris two months ago, and Marla a few weeks ago. Faith —”

“Isn’t she engaged?”

“Engaged isn’t married according to the gospel of Fairfax.”

“Charming. Go on.”

“Well, Faith got so tired of him she threatened to use her taser, and Fairfax tried to start a rumour about her being a lesbian.”

“And you, Chelle?”

Michelle stiffened. “One date, and I’m a frigid, man-hating dyke.”

“And fuck him too; I’d so do you if I was gay or bi.”  That won her a smile and had Michelle relaxing her rigid stance. “Do me a solid? Cassidy and Yates are on the Yard today — find them and tell them dinner’s on me. Then go home and watch something cathartic.”

Kill Bill comes to mind.”

Toni shooed the younger woman away, musing on the info dump she’d received. It didn’t escape her notice that all of Fairfax’s ‘conquests’ were support staff — no agents or field assets. Either Nicky-boy found women with guns intimidating, or he got off on dominating women he perceived as weaker than he was.

Considering the possibilities, Toni strode over to Nikki, hoping to calm the germaphobe down and get some further intel.


Nick considered it his lucky day when the first face in the elevator on Monday morning was Cassidy Yates. While he normally avoided female agents — they were bossy and far too sensitive, plus their attempts to do a man’s job extended to always being on top — but Yates was twice as hot as the crazy chick he was working on loosening up.

He settled back against the wall of the elevator — pity her pants were too loose to show off her ass — and spent a pleasant three minutes looking down her shirt.


By Thursday, Tony was annoyed and pissed off. In addition to being a sleaze and a predator, Fairfax was a coward with the attention span of a gnat. Sure, he’d check out Cassie, Paula, or Toni when they passed by, but he stuck to perving instead of making a move, and as soon as he caught a glimpse of easier prey, he zeroed in on it. He’d also damn near driven Nikki to tears by constantly invading her space — apparently, all she needed to ‘fix’ her was to get the good kind of dirty.

Forget getting him reprimanded or fired — Toni was going to shoot him.

Gibbs took one look at her face and banished the junior agents to the firing range, told her not to get arrested, and vacated.

At least some men could be taught.

Paula dropped onto the corner of the desk. “I figured out what’s going on in HR.”

“Good, because Delores would never blow this off, and Fleischmann’s always seemed decent,” she said, naming the heads of Human Resources.

“Neither of them knew.” Paula nodded at her incredulous look. “I got a junior agent to strike up a conversation with the clerk — one one who blew off Candice — and spill some made-up relationship woes. The clerk, Linnie, reciprocated.”

“I love the classics.” They shared a smirk.

“Apparently, Linnie’s lover — boyfriend is too juvenile for this powerful and mature man — is far too good for her, and everyone else. He’s persecuted at work, denied rightful promotions and, worst of all, so pursued by women that when he turns down their advances, they try to ruin him by filing false complaints. Fortunately,” Paula said dryly, “he depends on her to protect him from such spitefulness.”

“I should have sympathy for her; no doubt Fairfax targeted her for that reason.” Toni leaned back in her chair, considering. “Yeah, I’ve got a little sympathy for the victim of a player, but just that — a little. Because you have to be an idiot to buy that half-assed attempt at gaslighting, especially if you work in HR.”

“Or a twenty-four year old from Milwaukee.”

“Okay, my sympathy quotient increased, but mostly because winter in Wisconsin can’t possibly make up for the great cheese. Still, even in Milwaukee, there must be assholes and users.”

“Also, she’s the only daughter of a single father with five sons.”

“Fuck you, you’re making that up.” Paula shook her head. “Further proof that protecting girls instead of teaching them to look after themselves in self-defeating. Poor kid had six males leaning over her shoulder all her life, leaves home, and can’t recognize a real threat when she walks face-first into it.”

“Which is why my daddy taught me to shoot a gun.”

“Mine taught me to stay away from men like him.” Her cell phone chimed an incoming text. “Granted, it was unintentional — damn it!”

<come quickly. Fairfax at nikki again. Panic attack>

“Paula, call Ducky, send him to level 2, then get Cynthia to send the Director. I’m done pussyfooting around this bullshit.”

Cassie met her in the stairwell; Paula caught up to them by the time they hit the second floor. Together, all three women stormed the small office used by the Middle East intelligence analysts.

Michelle was right; Nikki was bordering on a panic attack, and barely holding back tears of frustration and anxiety. Smug and amused, Fairfax was crowding her physically and breathing in her ear while playing ‘not touching you’ with a germaphobe. Michelle was all but fuming and trying to keep Nikki calm.

“Come on, Jardine, just say yes —”

“Ignore him, Nikki, it’s alright.”

“ — and I’m sure you’ll feel better. Or, maybe, I’ll just keep coming by, every day, for a chat.” He licked a fingertip and dragged it across the desk next to Nikki’s covered hand; the analyst shuddered. “Would you like that? Is that why you’re playing hard-to-get? So I keep coming back?”

“Fairfax, you bastard —”

“Hey, Chelle — what’s the word?”

Fairfax glanced over at Toni’s cheerful question to find three female agents staring him down. “Ah — DiNozzo. Just making conversation with Jardine here.”

“Yeah? Because that’s not what it looks like, does it Paula?”


Toni crowded Fairfax, using her height to her advantage; it was a tactic she’d learned in college as most men didn’t know what to do with a six foot two inch woman using their playbook. Nikki took the opportunity presented, darting out from behind her desk and letting Michelle maneuver her behind Paula and Cassie.

“Now, DiNozzo, I didn’t know you wanted some of this. You only need to ask.”

She eyed him with disdain, and aimed for the ego. “I get plenty, Nicky-boy, or higher grade and better quality.”

“Doubt that. Word is, you’re easy, Toni, and easy usually settles for cheap.”

Aww, that’s adorable. Cassie, this small-time bully thinks he can slut shame me!”

“Antonia, you don’t have a damned thing to be ashamed of.”

His sneer was pitiful; McGeek could managed better after only three months on Team Gibbs. “Figured you two were doing each other. Or is it all three of you?”

“Only in your fondest dreams, Nicholas.” Toni bared her teeth in a sharp grin. “Stay away from Nikki, Fairfax — in fact, you’ll stay away from every woman in the Yard, unless given an explicit invitation. FYI —  breathing while female? Not an invitation.”

“Or what? You’ll report me? Tattle to Gibbs?”

“I’ve heard all about your little scam on Linnie, Nicky, and I don’t need Gibbs to fight my battles for me. No, I’ll just hall you down to the gym and spend and few hours teaching you that no means no.”

He probably thought that expression was sexy; Toni wanted a shower. “DiNozzo, no is just a yes you haven’t gotten yet.” And cupped his crotch.

Even the Director agreed that he’d deserved a fist to the face.

“You bitch!” Fairfax wiped blood off his chin — she’d give him credit, he didn’t suffer a glass jaw — and lunged. Her hip shot dropped him on the industrial carpeting, right at the feet of Director Morrow.

“Agents, is there a problem?”

“She assaulted me, Director! I want her arrested!”

“Agent DiNozzo,” Morrow shifted his gaze to her. “Your response to these allegations?”

“I’ll walk myself into holding, sir — if Fairfax explains, in detail, the conversation he was having with Agent Jardine earlier.”

“Well, Fairfax.”

“I — it was just a conversation, sir; DiNozzo is deflecting.”

Morrow’s eyes narrowed. No one sniffed out bullshit like an investigator turned politician. “Really? Agent Jardine, do you have anything to say to that?”

Nikki looked up from where she’d been huddled, Michelle whispering reassurances in her ear. “I — sir —” she sucked in a breath and straightened her spine. “Sir, I’d like to file a complaint against Agent Fairfax. For sexual harassment.”

Which was when, being a raging asshole, Fairfax dug his own grave. “Sir, there’s been a misunderstanding. I was just having a conversation, which Jardine misinterpreted. I mean, she is crazy.”

Paula caught Michelle before the woman could earn her own assault charge; Cassie nudged Jardine into Ducky’s care, who cursed Fairfax in gaelic and guided the analyst to a nearby seat. Morrow aimed a narrow, blistering glare at the idiot.

Toni smiled brightly. “Sir, if you suspend me, I can totally hit him again, as a civilian instead of an agent.”

“You’re sacrifice is noted, Agent, but why don’t I just fire him instead?”



I have spent more time in fandom than in real life in the last decade. I'd offer cookies and a speech about joining the dark side, but if you found me here you've probably drunk the kool-aid already.

9 thoughts on “tBS: Hunter, Hunted

  1. I’d kill pages and pages of your girl Tony. There’s just so much to explore. The change in dynamics within the team alone is utterly fascinating! Great piece!

  2. Yes! Such a brilliant story. Loved everything about it. Thanks for sharing! I have a question, though, who’s the woman you picked out to play female Tony. I don’t recognise her, but she’s a stunning woman.

  3. Damn it. You fuck with my worldview. In a really good way.

    I love this. And just makes me wish that Tony in the show was like this.

    Also, Gibbs fleeing from pissed off Toni. Brilliant.

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